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11:44pm 29/02/2004
  This is so stupid, cant everyone just SHUT THE FUCK UP? I mean damn. We talked to Bri today Mary and WE know what was said and what happend and what the end result of it was. Why other people are being dragged into this is beyond me, but whatever let them. It still isnt anyones business, BUT if they feel the need to vent so be it. I understand Joe's comment to an extent, but the rest just doesnt compile with the situation. As for the anonymous commentor, I think that people who live in glass houses shouldnt throw stones...you are argueing and telling mary she's childish for what shes done, but you on the other hand, are being childish by actually commenting in her jounal when you have NOTHING to do with this at all. If you dont like mary big deal, no need to continuesly comment on how YOU view her. Hell, we all have flaws...Im sure you do as well. There is no need to even leave a comment in her journal, and anonymously at that. Maybe you're too chicken-shit, but what the hell so I know.

I think everyone should just shut up. There is too much time being wasted on argueing and fighting, and not enough time focusing on more important things. Not that friendship isnt important, but when it ends up like this, it really makes one wonder.

-Ashley




THANK YOU BROTHER ASHLEY. Couldnt have said it better myself! i love you!
 
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10:36pm 29/02/2004
  i made a new journal, so that reatrds who think they know everything about my life and how i act cant leave idiotic commetns in it. Plus this one is full of bad memories, and has just been going on for way to long. so this journal is done. If your on my friends list ill add you so add me back. Im not telling anyone my the link so if you really want to find me you will.


LATER FOREVER!
 
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07:23pm 29/02/2004
  Edit: its really sad when people read what i think and feel, and let it upset them to the point where they have to leave anonymous comments in my journal. Wow your pathetic, maybe you should think about who really needs counseling.


Friends only you fucking losers!Collapse )
 
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MMM i love moms chicken noodle soup   
07:04pm 29/02/2004
 

Once again joe, i told you this is not your PROBLEM its mine, and until you can put yourself in my shoes and can understand how i feel, then you can talk, till then shut the hell up!  Yeah he was a good friend if you can look past the lies and broken promises hes made.  Why cant you put yourself in my shoes and understand how i felt when brian lied to us or broke a promise, and even last ngiht?  You see this whole situation through brian's point of view,  yet your missing the whole other side, my side.  AND  I dont need people to go out of their way to be my friend,all i ask is that some puts the same effort into a friendship as i do, you know a mutual thing,  especially when that other person calls you their bestfriend.  We had plans last night but once again something comes up, right?  All i was asking is that brian, ash and i hang out once in the past month, just ONCE, (and on several occasions we had plans but OTHER things came up like last night )i didnt think that was to much to ask for, do you?   So let me say this one more time joe Untill you can understand where im coming from  DONT TALK!  because you obviously dont understand. 

 

For everyone else mind your own damn bussiness.

 

ITs only taking  me a 4 years to figure out i need to make this friends only,  so this will be my last public post.  If your not on my friends list jsut ask ill most likely add you.

I bought a swoard tonight for protection! 

 
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Im Thpecial   
11:13am 29/02/2004
  I channeled all my negative energy into something creative, take a look at it.



This picture speaks for itselfCollapse )
 
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Love is an excuse to get hurt   
09:20pm 28/02/2004
  I expected more out of you than this. Everyone sees you as a great fun loving awesome kid. I did until i got to know you, now i see you as a liar, a fake person, and someone who dosent know who they are. You try so hard to fit in w/ everyone and make everyone else happy, but in reality you cant do that, and why dont you realize that you cant do that? I wanna thank you for being my "best friend" i wanna thank you for lieing to me, breaking promises, and ditiching me. You told me you were mt best friend but, a best friend dosent treat the other like this. You may think that nothing is wrong, but you also live in your own little dream world where no one gets mad at you, or you think no one gets mad at you, You also like to think that everyone is your friend, but right now the people that you think are your "best friends" couldnt hate you anymore then they do.

As you may or may not know, I was supposed to hang out w/ some "friends" tonight. The only friends i did end up hanging out w/ were my dog and ashley. The deal was that saturday night we would all hang out, No! of course i made plans w/ brian, i shouldnt expect him to follow though on anything. He called me today, first time in a very long time, he told me he would call back. Ryan told me he was going over to brians. Wait, werent you guys supposed to come over here, and how come i wassnt invited over to brians? So i went to the mall in an attempt to buy a swoard form the dollar store instead i ended up w/ my keys locked in the car and a broken heart. I called brian after the nice mall security cop unlocked my car. Ryan answers the phone
"Speak to me!"
"Brain, is that you?"
"no its ryan."
"Where the fuck is brian? put him on the phone."
"umm brians not here."
All while i can hear his fucking voice in the background, Do you think im that dumb that brian wouldnt be ther to answer his cellphone?
Then i hear brian,
"hello."
me, "dude whats your deal?"
"what are you talikg about?"
Then some stupid little bitch is on the phone
"hehe, hello."
Me, "who the hell is this?"
"brian."
"right who is this?"
"its brian."
"listen you dumb bitch since when does brian have a fucking vagina?"
Well actually little girl your voice did sound pretty man like, so i guess you could have been brian!
Brian"hello?"
"Im so fucking mad at you i dont even want to talk to you"

Me im so filled w/ rage at this point i dont even know what to do. I called ashley and told her, she was pissed, so i told her i was gonna go to his house. I wnet to his house, we had a nice long converstation, it ended w/ me leaving very very dissapointed! I was sitting there jsut looking at brians eyes thinking to myself, right now everyword out of his mouth could be a lie, and it probably is. I cant believe he could be this low. HE disgusts me now. I knew we could never be friends again. I dont understand why he is doing this to us, why in the past month has he tryed to distance himself from us?

Brian, your such a fake person, and i cant believe i wasted so much time on a relationship w/ you. As for everyone else whos gonna say "why are you mad at brian? you have no right to be." well until you can understand where im coming from and the whole situation, DONT TALK! casue i will destroy you!
 
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i cant believe the love i give is not enough   
08:19am 28/02/2004
  so i have to use the big nasty porno infested computer right now becasue fat philly thought it would be a good idea to put a block over the network at school, to bad it blocks everything at home as well. Dumb shits.

I didnt get the job at price chopper, man that sucks so much ass. Im either under qualified, dont have enough experience, of fail an honesty test. Or i just sit there for an hour and a half to hear that they are not hireing. B-B-B-B-Bull Shit!

Thursday night ash and i went to the mall to fill out applications, i filled one out for old navy. That was the worst one ive ever filled out. I would laugh if i got a job there. We went to the dollar store to get an app. To bad they dont hire white people there.

Yesterday i got a new video game, ive been playin that shit for hours now. (Im such a geek) Ash came over and we played in the snowbanks because we were extremly bored. Ash fell, and she fell hard. It was the funniest thing ive seen all week.

Why is everyone obsessed with the movie donnie darko? yeah its a good movie, but theres way better ones out there.

School of rock comes out on tuesday, im so excited. I LOVE JACK BLACK!

Ashley and i are goning to start are own bussiness. I would tell you what but i dont want anyone to rip us off!

I hate being 17!

later chacos
 
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02:03pm 26/02/2004
  SO ive decided im gonna go to the ball. Im gonna make my own dress, im thinking polka dots and rain boots.  
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colorful   
09:42am 26/02/2004
  Its like 10am, and i decided to just not go to school today. Ill just tell my mom that sara over slept and i just decided i wassnt gonna go because i didnt want another late.

Yesterday Sara, Ashley, Erica, and I skipped 4th and went to ericas house. We watched Lion King 1 and a 1/2. When I got home i had a call from price chopper. I went up there and had an interview with them. HOPEFULLY, everything will go y way and i will have a job by the end of today.

WEll i dont know what im gonna go today, i guess jsut chill and watch tv

Lata gatas
 
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09:27pm 24/02/2004
  DOES ANYONE WANNA DRIVE DOWN TO ELMIRA WITH METHIS WEEKEND!  
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05:02pm 23/02/2004
  by far one of the most interesting conversations ive ever hadCollapse )  
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i think spring is here   
03:43pm 23/02/2004
 

Im about to go watch lost in translation. For some reason i have just fallen in love with that movie, its so beautiful. Today was a terrible day. I couldnt get out of bed till 7am. Got to school and couldnt stay awake. Then lunch came around, of course i didnt expect brian to be there, as a matter afact i dont expect much from him anymore, why should i? Anyways Ashely J. wassnt there so that meant jeff wassnt there, and that meant I had to sit all alone in lunch. Well not alone i got to sit next to MIKE all lunch, I think I would have rather been alone. It wassnt that bad, i kind of just sat there and absorbed everything that was going on. The interaction between people, it just really interest me how some people are so dumb, and so loud. If people could see themselves on a video tape they would realize how much of a fool they make of themselves.

my thoughts in lunchCollapse )
 
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All the photographs.   
09:48pm 22/02/2004
  I have school tomorrow and im really not looking forward to it. Especially if Ashley J. isnt gonna be there because shes the only one i sit with. well other than brian but you know he likes to break promises, and be a total dick head. I know as unbeleivable as it might seem for you brian, or anyone else, but its true.

Last night i went to The Big mall with joanna. I got some apps. and just talked wit joanna. My brother called me to tell me to be carefull driving home. I love him so much, hes such a great kid. I came home and just hung out with him and watched movies. WE were up to 3:30 in the morning watching Ebaum movies, and we talked about music.

Today ash and i went to the little mall. I gave my application to bobby, hes gonna try and help me get a job at zumiez. If he can i would love him forever, i mean im so desperate for a job ill clean a horses ass if i got payed for it. We came home and watched lost in translation, then major pain, then happy gilmore, then a 2 1/2 hour marathon of degrassi. I got ashley into that show. Haha shes got a lot to learn.

My mother told me i should move out becasue im to shelterd, she also told me that im not unique, now i remember why i stopped talking to her!

I think i want to be a sound designer now.
 
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11:06am 22/02/2004
  Last night was a good night.

I wanna be a sound designer.


This is the best song in the world. Do you know what song it is?Collapse )
 
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12:06pm 21/02/2004
  Once again, im being yelled at becasue i cant get a job. Like its my fault no one will hire. Like i purposely try not to have a job. Now i understand why i dont talk to my mom anymore, becasue thats all she ever talks to me about. I wake in the morning you gonna get a job today. I go upstairs to my room, JESUS MARY, you better get dressed and go out and get a job. Last ngiht in the middle of the store my mother starts screaming about it again. It seems that for like the past month thats all anyone ever talkes to me about, is why i dont have a job. Its to the point where i wanna slit my neck. I mean its not like im not trying to get one. I have at least, AT LEAST, 50 applications out right now, and no one will hire me. No one needs anyone to work for them. But i guess its my fault that the job market sucks right now, and that everything is slow. ITS ALL MY FAULT, right mom.  
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12:27am 21/02/2004
 

i wassnt done......

 

 

One day im gonna be making kick ass indie movies, and one day your gonna wish you were really nice to me back when, because ill be sooooo cool!

 
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12:11am 21/02/2004
  Tonight i watched this movie Cherry Falls, maybe youve heard of it. It was about a killer who stalked virgins at a local highschool. It was really good eventhough it only got one star. It was by far one of the gorriest movies ive ever seen. Especially the part where all the highschool virgins are in a house about to have sex, and the killer shows up, and just starts slashing everyone with his knife. It was just a whole lot of bloody naked bodies crawling all over each other. I really liked the end when they showed the waterfalls and all the water turned to blood, very clever i must say, very clever.

I bought these really cute shoes tonight, there brown and pink. I love them.
 
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You disgust me, you person who listens to shitty music.   
04:42pm 20/02/2004
 

You called us your "best friends" and told us NOTHING would ever come between us.  Yet when i find out you hang out with other people and and cant make the time in a month to hang out with the people you once called your best friends, it really makes me sick.  Sick to think that i wasted my time with you.  You think you are so special, but your just like everyone else, and it really makes wonder why i put the time and energy into a friendship with you.  Ive forgivin you so many times for how youve treated me, but this time im not, im not just gonna forget about it when you say "yo mary, dont do me like that."   Well what happens when that tables turn and im the one saying "yo dont do me like that." put yourself in my shoes, and think of how i felt when i was all alone, or when you lied, or broke a promise.  Was it all fake?, were all the i love yous, and friends forever fake?  were the all the late nights watching movies, and spending countless hours together all fake?  to me they werent, but now when i look back they very well could have been.  It really hurts me to know that becasue of your poor choices and judgement had to end  something great.  I dont know if things will ever be the same.  We can apologize to each other, but were always going to have this in the back of minds, lingering there, resentment.  I will always remember you as one of the coolest kids i ever meet, and i hope that your pink toe nails with blue polka-dots never fade so that you will always remember me.

 
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08:07pm 19/02/2004
  i know you must think im a loser cause i post so much on here but, this is my life.

I really like how the tables have turned. My mother and i used to be so close, but now it seems like she could really care less about me. The only thing she ever talks to me about now is why i dont have a job. I offered to spend time with her, but noo becasue its on the weekend it interfers with going over to brians house. Ive tryed to be a good daughter and keep a relationship w/ her but it dosent seem to work, so i guess ill just say whatever! im done! im really done!
 
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i gave you my heart, and you gave me the time   
07:39pm 19/02/2004
 

I got mail for a credit card today,  that must mean im a grown up.


I was so bored today that i playde the emo game for 4 1/2hours.  Im so crazy.

I swear to god if i dont get a job with  in the next 2 months im gonna kill myself.

My belly hurts, A LOT!

 
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